Helping Your Child Manage Their Time, Emotions & Responsibilities

Written by Christopher Bogart, PhD

Getting your kid to clean their room, do their homework, or simply stay organized is something most every parent faces. What you want to avoid is having these moments become conflict flash points that sometimes have an unwanted lasting effect on your child.  Instead, start by understanding that these are capabilities that can be developed! Some kids develop them more quickly and more easily, and others really do have a harder time and take longer. 

The good news is that you can take concrete steps that help your child develop and build what is known as executive functions. Following the right path to developing these skills will be better for your relationship with your child, better for your family, and have a positive impact on your child and teen.

These brain-based abilities impact nearly every aspect of a child’s life—from school performance and friendships to basic organization and independence. And understanding how executive functions develop (and how we can support them) is a game-changer for parents and teachers alike.

What Are Executive Functions?

Executive functions (EF) are the mental processes that help us plan, focus, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks. These skills act as the brain’s “coach” or “conductor,” helping us stop and think before we act, regulate our emotions, shift between ideas, and finish what we start.

Everyone has executive functions. And we all need them to accomplish any life task. And they’re not just important for academic success—they’re essential for emotional well-being, decision-making, and the ability to thrive in everyday life.

Executive Function Skills Develop Over Time

One of the most important things to know? Executive functions don’t fully mature until late into your twenties. Yes, you read that right. These are long-game skills. In early childhood, kids begin developing basic EF skills like impulse control and emotional regulation. As they grow, they build on those foundations with abilities like:

• Task initiation and organization (elementary school)
• Time management, planning, and working memory (middle and high school)
• Goal-setting, metacognition, flexibility, and self-monitoring (high school and beyond)

That’s why it’s completely developmentally appropriate for a 10-year-old to need reminders to pack their backpack, and for a teenager to struggle with managing their time or staying focused. These skills are still under construction.

How Stress and Anxiety Hijack Executive Functions

Here’s where things get tricky. When a child is under stress—whether it’s test anxiety, social pressures, or problems at home—their “fight or flight” response kicks in. The brain floods with cortisol, which can shut down the prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for executive functions).

This makes it much harder to concentrate, plan, control impulses, or regulate emotions. A child who is anxious may look like they’re being forgetful, lazy, or oppositional—but what’s really happening is that their brain is in survival mode.

In short: kids need to feel emotionally safe in order to access their executive functions.

Supporting Executive Functions at Home and School

The good news is that executive function skills can be taught, coached, and practiced. Like any muscle, they get stronger with use. Here are some simple, powerful ways to support children’s executive functioning:

1. Create Predictable Routines

Daily structure helps reduce anxiety and frees up cognitive energy for learning. Consistent wake-up times, meal schedules, homework periods, and bedtimes provide a sense of control and safety.

2. Use Thoughtful Language

Instead of giving commands, try prompts that build metacognition:

• “What’s your plan?”
• “How will you know when you’re done?”
• “What can you say to yourself while you’re working on this?”

These encourage kids to think about their own thinking—an essential EF skill.

3. Break Tasks Into Steps

Multistep directions can overwhelm kids with EF challenges. Use visual checklists or short, step-by-step instructions to make tasks more manageable.

4. Support Emotional Regulation

Teach kids to name their feelings, take deep breaths, and use calming strategies. When emotions are in check, executive functions can kick in.

5. Encourage Sleep, Exercise, and Play

Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest enemies of EF. Kids need rest, movement, and unstructured play to recharge and build resilience.

6. Model Flexibility and Self-Control

Children learn by watching us. When we show calm in chaos, shift gears gracefully, or laugh at mistakes, we’re showing them how to do the same.

The Takeaway: Enduring Success is Built Patiently

Executive function development takes time—lots of it. It requires patience, repetition, and a long-term perspective. But with the right support, children can build the skills they need to thrive. By creating emotionally safe environments, encouraging self-reflection, and offering consistent structure, we help kids not only manage the challenges of childhood—but grow into adaptable, organized, and self-regulated adults.

Ready to Enhance Executive Functioning Skills?

At Sasco River Center, we specialize in empowering individuals to develop essential executive functioning skills—such as task initiation, organization, and time management. Our dedicated team offers personalized coaching and support for children, teens, college students, and adults facing challenges in these areas.

With convenient clinic locations in Darien, Stamford, and Wilton, Connecticut, we’re here to support your journey toward improved focus and independence. Prefer the comfort of your home? Our telehealth services ensure you can access our expertise from anywhere.​